The one word that is clearly NOT in my vocabulary

I hate the fact that I have come here to b*!#@ about my job, when I'm lucky I have one in the first place, but I have to get things off my chest. And it pretty much all comes down to one thing:

I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO SAY NO.

There, I said it. One of my two biggest weaknesses (besides my weight, which is another stressor for another day's blog entry) is my inability to tell people no. I have always had a problem telling people no, whether it is a friend in need or a co-worker in need. I am THAT PERSON that when approached, no matter how big or small the project, I always say "Okay" and then kick myself later for opening my big, fat mouth. I always think about others first if it means someone else's happiness or sanity or whatever, which means my happiness, sanity, and whatever is clearly unimportant to me.

Well, my big, fat mouth has done it again. Without getting too much into things, in the spring I agreed to take on a 6th class this year ("normal" is five teaching periods) thinking that with lay-offs and budget cuts many in the department would be taking on a 6th class. After today, I remain the only schumck who is teaching six English classes. I had the perfect opportunity to put my foot down today and stick up for myself by getting rid of one of my classes and going down to only five classes, but as another co-worker was upset about a proposed schedule change, I said I'd keep the 6th class. So to make another co-worker's life a little easier, I have shot myself in the foot. I will now have four classes of freshman (100 students) and two classes of sophomores (35 students) while certain co-workers have MUCH smaller classes (that too is another blog post for another day) and all of my English co-workers have one less class than I.

So after calling my co-worker then calling the department chair to say I'd keep the class, the severity of what I had just done hit me like a ton of bricks. I then proceeded to have a MAJOR meltdown while on the way to meet other co-workers. (Thank you Colleen for listening to my blubbering on the phone! You are the best sister in the whole wide world!!!!!) When will I learn my lesson? And when will my co-workers and employer stop stepping all over me? I guess the only way to find out is to stick up for myself and just say no.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

Check back in a few months to see if I have truly mastered the Art of Saying No.