I'm not sure how to title this post, so one without a title seems a bit more appropriate.
1. School/work is so so busy. My sophomores just finished Julius Caesar and so now I have a TON of grading to get that unit over. Thankfully though, my co-teacher is taking on the next unit completely...her first for this school year. I'm proud of her, as it is a book I've never taught, so she's doing it all without much of my help. I'm over my juniors and seniors and they're over me, so the remaining days are seeming to just drag. I do feel somewhat refreshed in knowing that next year I won't be teaching either juniors or seniors, and look forward to teaching freshmen, a grade I've never taught in my 12 years in education.
2. Things at the house are coming together quickly and nicely. We finally have some landscaping in (minus the mulch) and some rooms are painted and some curtains/valances are up. My parents bought us a gas grill for our birthdays and we got that a few weeks back and have been highly enjoying that luxury. I still walk through rooms thinking "this is OUR house" or pull up our driveway with a HUGE grin on my face. That makes me so so happy.
3. I did have a very rough day yesterday. Thank you to those who understood and offered words of support. Lots of tears and just overall sadness, but by the end of the day I did my best to put a smile upon my face for my mother-in-law's sake, who spent the weekend with us.
4. So hard to believe that one year ago, on May 7th, two embryo's were transferred into C. One year. How I wish time didn't fly by so quickly.
5. Lastly, it seems as if our pursuit of adoption is temporarily off. I did some further digging into our agency and discovered that the cost of a domestic adoption is MUCH more than we were planning. Quite simply, it's just money we do not have, especially with having a new house and whatnot. With time we'll be able to hopefully re-establish/re-build our bank accounts from all of our previous IF expenses, and from buying a house, and that is when we'll start the process. I know I'm still young...but knowing that yet another year of getting to become a mom has been put off makes my heart hurt, but it is what it is. No amount of tears in the world are going to make the situation better.
So, I guess that's about all. Talk about doom and gloom. Geesh. Sorry. I'm going to take a blogging break for a little while. I'll be back sometime soon, I'm sure...
Walk of Hope Week!!!!
10 years ago
8 comments:
1.) You have less than a month left with the students... you can do it! :)
2.) You're house is awesome and I'm glad that the novelty of it being "yours" hasn't worn off. Hope it never does!
3.) I know that you are having a hard time with not being a mom yet. I can't tell you how much my heart aches for you. Of course there aren't words that will help with the pain and sadness, but I hope you realize what a wonderful sister, wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, friend, teacher, mentor and role model you are. Someday I know you will be a great mom to someone who needs you, but in the mean time, you mean so much to everyone around you and that's important.
A big hugs to you and just remember that I'm here if you need to talk!
Love you!
I used to HATE the people who would say "you still have time, you're young." I would respond rather snapishly, "Well, that doesn't make my heart want one any less now!" Geesh! I'm so sorry :-(
First, I have to say that I am so excited for you to teach freshmen :) I absolutely love teaching them, and would prefer them to any other grade. But...I'm also mildly (ok, extremely) immature myself, so it's a good fit. Good luck to you!!!! I'd love to know what books you're having them read, as I'm hoping to expand our reading list.
Second...I know yesterday was rough for you. Especially given the news with the adoption. I am so sorry to hear that that has been pushed back. I'm such a mixture of emotions anymore because my excitement and happiness is tainted by sadness for those who are still struggling (you!) and guilt that things worked for me and not for others. Every minute of every day, I know how lucky I am and how much of a miracle Rylee truly is--an appreciation I probably wouldn't have had I not worked with Dr. M and followed your struggle. Colleen is so right...there aren't words to express how much I want for you and how much I hope for you. You are such a wonderful person and you will be a great mom one day.
Until then...you are in my thoughts and my heart, and I await exciting news from you. ((hugs))
Sunday was a long day for a lot of women, myself included, I wish the dang day didn't exist. I think about you from time to time and just wish it could have been different for you. I know that words from a stranger don't help, but I can't help but try. Take care, sweet lady.
Sending so many hugs your way. Mother's Day was hard for me as well and I'd be lying if I said I didn't sit there and cry my eyes out. While I'm going to be a step mom to two beautiful, amazing girls, it doesn't replace the fact that I have a hole in my heart for the babies I once carried and lost.
I keep you in prayers daily and hope things get better for you. IF is so expensive. I really wish there was help out there for us girls.
If you ever need to talk, cry, vent I'm here for you.
xoxoxox
May 7th is a day for the two of us, huh? (((HUGS)) sweetie, your time is coming!
Show some pics of the landscaping, we want to see all you have done! I understand the excitement about the house, I can't wait until we have one that is ours, too!
Thinking of you!
You have so many positives in your life and so many wonderful friends and all your family that loves you so much....pull on all of that for your support as you and John make a difficult decision to postpone your plans. Everything happens for a reason. I truly believe that, and hope that someday you will, too. In the meantime, know that I love you with all of my heart. You and Colleen will aways be my babies. That will never change.
I love you, honey.
I am so sorry things are on a downswing for you right now. Mother's Day is always a rough one and to find out that your path to motherhood must be put on hold for financial reasons alone is a big disappointment. Sitting with you...
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