I hate the fact that I have come here to b*!#@ about my job, when I'm lucky I have one in the first place, but I have to get things off my chest. And it pretty much all comes down to one thing:
I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO SAY NO.
There, I said it. One of my two biggest weaknesses (besides my weight, which is another stressor for another day's blog entry) is my inability to tell people no. I have always had a problem telling people no, whether it is a friend in need or a co-worker in need. I am THAT PERSON that when approached, no matter how big or small the project, I always say "Okay" and then kick myself later for opening my big, fat mouth. I always think about others first if it means someone else's happiness or sanity or whatever, which means my happiness, sanity, and whatever is clearly unimportant to me.
Well, my big, fat mouth has done it again. Without getting too much into things, in the spring I agreed to take on a 6th class this year ("normal" is five teaching periods) thinking that with lay-offs and budget cuts many in the department would be taking on a 6th class. After today, I remain the only schumck who is teaching six English classes. I had the perfect opportunity to put my foot down today and stick up for myself by getting rid of one of my classes and going down to only five classes, but as another co-worker was upset about a proposed schedule change, I said I'd keep the 6th class. So to make another co-worker's life a little easier, I have shot myself in the foot. I will now have four classes of freshman (100 students) and two classes of sophomores (35 students) while certain co-workers have MUCH smaller classes (that too is another blog post for another day) and all of my English co-workers have one less class than I.
So after calling my co-worker then calling the department chair to say I'd keep the class, the severity of what I had just done hit me like a ton of bricks. I then proceeded to have a MAJOR meltdown while on the way to meet other co-workers. (Thank you Colleen for listening to my blubbering on the phone! You are the best sister in the whole wide world!!!!!) When will I learn my lesson? And when will my co-workers and employer stop stepping all over me? I guess the only way to find out is to stick up for myself and just say no.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
Check back in a few months to see if I have truly mastered the Art of Saying No.
Walk of Hope Week!!!!
10 years ago
6 comments:
Good luck with that...I still struggle with it regularly. ((HUGS))
You could just practice on your hubby...lol!
I'm going to offer advice here, only because I've been practicing this myself recently. Since I have much less experience in education than you, take it for what it's worth :)
You, K.J., are a professional educator, and you deserve to be treated as such. If your ability to do your job is challenged by your being guilted into agreeing to do something, then don't let your guilt win. Say no. Respect yourself as a professional, and other people will stop using you as a doormat. Why do you think those in authority don't ask the other teachers? Because they know they can guilt good old K.J. into doing whatever it is.
It is also not your responsibility to compensate for the district's financial woes. Your administrator and school board need to figure out what services are needed and what services are not, so if making cuts and increasing course loads is the only way to get things done, then wait until that time and everyone will have to pick up the slack, but don't let yourself become the work horse as a result of your "what if" thinking.
Sorry if that sounded bossy. Literally, I'm saying it to myself as I type it. We all suffer from the "yes" reflex, but we need to stand up for ourselves and say no.
That being said, I teach 6 49-minute classes, total 135 students, 4 CP Eng 10, 1 Eng 10, 1 Honors II, and it's doable.
"no" is one small little word, but very powerful. Stand up for what you think and feel and don't let anyone or anything run your life. You need to be the one in control and make the decisions that are the best for you. I hope this 14th year of teaching is a great one for you....all 135 students. Love you. Mom xoxo
:) I like this lesson... I have a hard time with it as well.
After talking to Tom, we both agree that they did this to you because out of everyone, you are the one that will be able to handle it. See... that's what you get for being awesome. If you just sucked a little at being a teacher, then they wouldn't stick you with 6 classes. :)
No, seriously though, I think it's stupid and I get being caught in the "yes" stage of life. It's hard not to try to please everyone but you need to remember to please yourself first and foremost... even if saying no is what gets you there!
xo
I'm sorry :( It does sound like you are being taken advantage of. I hope you have a great year in spite of this.
I have the same issue...it's "easier" to make others happy than it is yourself. You have to ALLOW yourself to be happy, to feel like it's ok. If that makes sense. Thinking of you, you are going to be so busy this year!!
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