I found this on the blog of a hopefully former trouble trying to conceive friend (who just found out she is pregnant through a second FET cycle, although she is cautiously excited as she has had three previous miscarriages). This is from Maria's blog...
Thoughts on becoming a Mother...
There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.
I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.
I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body.
I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.
So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.
I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.
And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.
I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard.
I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.
Yes I will be a wonderful mother.
......SOMEDAY!!!!!!
Walk of Hope Week!!!!
10 years ago
6 comments:
That poem is beautiful! And so are you, Kristen. Thank you for sharing yourself with such genuine and optimistic hopes for the future. You are already motherly to so many of us. We love you. XOX
:) I have heard this before and i could read it a million more times. It's so true! thanks for putting it up. And, you are right, as ALWAYS... We both will be mothers some day, wonderful mothers. And, while this journey stinks, I wouldn't change it for a moment, we would never have met!
I love that poem and yes Kristen someday, SOON you are going to become a mom.
That is beautifully put Kristen, and I do believe that you will view your children through a different lens someday. Hardships do sweeten the blessings in life. Having lost my mother I view my own role of motherhood very differently than if she were still here. I think all of the time of the memories I am making for my children and the kind of legacy I want to leave. You will carry your challenges with conception in your heart always and will view your children with an appreciation that many won't have. Hold onto that. Your children will be very fortunate to have you for their mother.
Thanks for sharing that, Kristen. These days, it feels pretty hopeless...but as someone once told me, if you don't have hope, then you're hopeless...I don't want to be hopeless...I'm praying for you honey...let me know more about your travel plans for next month so we can iron out the details!
I cry every time I read that :)
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